Last week was irksome. I spent the entire week feeling like I was on the edge of illness. (I think I fought it off!) I’d planned to tinker with my lighting kit and cam a few evenings. Didn’t happen! I was fatigued and feeling unwell, so I read If You Lived here You’d Be Perfect By Now by Robin Hardwick. It is a funny-because-it’s true look back at the Sweet Valley High series. I also watched Lt. Joe Kenda: Homicide Hunter on Netflix. He is one of the good ones- a smart cop who genuinely cares and works a case until it is truly closed. And, finally, I caught up on a forum not worth linking. I should have nixed that; it made me feel even ickier and I doubt I will ever look at it again. Here’s why…
I am part of a site that allows users to join various communities and to poll the members on random topics. One question was asking whether you found women with tattoos attractive or unattractive. Even though I couldn’t stop thinking about Portlandia and the Eddie Vedder tattoo, I answered that tattoos don’t really matter to me either way.
(They don’t… unless maybe we’re talking about Taz or a Grateful Bear Bear, heh.) I’d have left it at that and clicked right along my way, but then I noticed a comment from guy stating, “word os advise. real men call girls with tattoos sluts.” (I left his errors in tact there.) Whaa?! I couldn’t let that go. I replied that “Better advice: ‘real men’ don’t call women sluts, unless it’s during consensual play.” He got in a snit and said I apparently I can’t read and didn’t read the question or his answer. I responded that indeed I had, direct quoted his original post and indicated that he should perhaps re-phrase his comment if that’s not what he is in fact trying to convey. I noticed he continued to post, raving on and on, resorting to personal attacks, but by this point I’d said all I needed to say (and politely, even) and I have not visited the thread again. *washes hands*
I stumbled upon a question directed to the ladies only, asking if they would be offended if they were wearing a lowcut top and caught men looking at their chest. I replied that personally, it didn’t bother me if they were just looking, but I would probably be offended if a man assumed it was a license to touch. I went on to say I could understand it if that made some women feel like more of an object than a person though. I also mentioned that sometimes women are not necessarily dressing to attract men, but we are sometimes dressing a certain way because of other women and I explained that other women are often the harshest critics of their counterparts and routinely size each other up and make judgments based on what we’re wearing. (Hell, half the time, I can’t even get through the judgy comments on xoJane, a place that is supposed to be female-positive!!!) I thought this was a valid, even astute contribution to the discussion. I noticed a lot of men were answering the question too, saying some pretty spiteful things about women. (I also noticed a lot of those men had joined communities with titles that were bitter and insulting towards women and almost all of them were divorced as well, which kind of explained the vitriol.) Their comments really got out of hand, especially considering that the inquiry was not directed to them at all. Several men called me a whore and told me I was asking to get raped and they’d be happy to give it to me. I’d have let it go, were it not for the fact that the thread had now been totally commandeered by these vicious guys rallying against not just me, but all women on the site. I politely pointed out that not only could I, as a women, not speak for all women, men have even less of a frame of reference to presume to do so. Of course, that was not well received and more attacks flew instantly, but again, I’d said all I needed to say and never visited the thread again. *re-washes hands* I know, I know… Arguing on the internet is lame, but standing by and letting people think bullshit like that is ok is lame too.
I spent the weekend loafing some more, watching horror b-movies and film noir. I saw: The Beast With A Million Eyes (ZZzzzz…), The Curse of The Swamp Creature (lol @ that costume), You Only Live Once (ooh, Alcatraz), House Across The Bay (mmm, George Raft), Jamaica Inn (pirates, omg), The House On Telegraph Hill (the ol’ identity switcharoo, eh), The Naked City (fantastic example of the genre), The Big Caper (how not to go straight) and Crime Against Joe (didn’t see that one coming until the very end). I’ve been practicing my moll accent and dialogue, so youse guys betta watch out, see. Yer all a buncha mugs! On accounta I ain’t down and out no more, I’m gonna get something goin’ dis week, see! ;)[Crossposted from TousledElegance.net]